Okay, so here goes my rant!

Are you an Indian? Do you live in India? Have you done your schooling in India?

If the answers to the above questions is yes, I am sure you all are aware of the level of façade that exists in the Indian society when it comes to sex.

People in India do not accept sex to be spoken about. It’s always a hush-hush taboo topic. Everyone knows about, everyone enjoys it, yet everyone pretends that it doesn’t even exist.

When we were in tenth grade, we were educated about the Reproductive System. Being the not-so-innocent fifteen year olds, we already knew everything about it. Some of the information we were conditioned to think were really wrong, while some were somewhat right. I felt that all these years, we were just unaware of so many things. Our parents had never spoken a word of it in our presence, let alone, to us.

Do you remember changing TV channels when a kissing/love making scene would appear? It is so foolish, so lame and so hypocritical to actually be ashamed of a phenomenon in public yet enjoy the effects of the same in private.

I am not encouraging you to make love in public, however, treating this subject as taboo has done too much harm to our society. Teenagers are misinformed about facts, which in turn leads them to take misinformed steps.

The number of rapes in our country is rising by the hour. Do you know why?

One of the reasons is this hypocrisy.

Forbidden fruits are always the sweetest.

Rapes happen because it is forbidden.

Had sex been a regular and outspoken phenomenon like eating or sleeping or watching a movie, the state of rate of rapes in India might have been way different.

I have also done a little research, which tells me that women are far behind in the race when it comes to sex. The “weaker sex” actually has little idea about sex.

Eight out of ten women in India between the age of twenty-five and forty have never had an orgasm. They probably don’t even know what an orgasm feels like. Pity.

Why do you think that there is so much disparity when it comes to concepts of sex such as homosexuality? People in India are not ready to accept such concepts because the very core of this is a huge taboo. People have limited knowledge, limited information and very limited interest to change.

On the name of sanskriti, if an entire population chooses to ignore the existent, then there is something really grave that everyone needs to think about. I am not on an India-bashing mode. I love India as much as anyone else. It is after all, where I am from. But things need to change. And no one can deny that.

Women are not supposed to feel pleasure.

Women are not supposed to ask for sex.

Homosexuals are supposed to ask for the Government’s permission to have sex.

A man with infertility issues is shunned from the society.

Sex scenes are censored, because, what could be more harmful to adults, than showing them what they already know?

You cannot have sex before marriage.

You cannot discuss sex with your parents.

You cannot even spell out sex aloud in public.

Break the stereotypes, yo!

SEX – There, I said it aloud!

16 thoughts on “Sex – There, I Said It Aloud!

  1. I won’t deny the fact that I had to think twice, before even commenting on this article you posted, for fear of being judged. However Reshmi, I do feel that times are changing and the younger generation like ours are not afraid to discuss about this openly. Maybe in a few years time, it would get better.

    I don’t think any of my friend’s parents or even mine discussed about these topics to me. Why not?! This have to change!


    • Agreed, the more you are in denial, the more effective it becomes in taking control of your coyness – It is because of this taboo status of this subject that HIV patients are shunned from society (based on complete nonsensical viewpoint that HIV can ONLY spread through sex), young girls have to go to undercover and illegal hospitals to get abortions done, because it is apparently better to enter such dangerous territories than to accept facts. It ain’t a joke – Its a national issue!


  2. In my opinion main cause of rape is not because one didn’t talk of sex openly but multiple reasons. It has nothing to do with talking of sex openly, a shy introvert person wouldn’t talk of it compared to someone strong willed open minded like yourself. Plus when it comes to orgasm i don’t think the stats you are providing is valid, orgasm for women depends on multiple reasons, male genital size, or how he does it, or his stamina, etc. You are mixing things here , linking rape , stereotypes and a woman turning red and moaning out load. There is motivation and there is this negative motivation which is linked with rape , a very simple thought “I want to do her because I can, she is alone here etc etc look at that body this is your chance” others could be political or a feud. I have fought for women my selves, stopped rape from happening. This uncontrollable desire of sex when it comes to both genders is tough to control that’s why we have some of those who are addicted to sex , while some who don’t get what they see like in movies and TV when they get a chance of getting something that looks fabulous and good like what they see, that desire takes control and one would want to fulfill it no matter the cost, A person becomes blind. Some times rape happen because of hate or ignorance or both. It is basic human nature to desire or want something good or more than that, very few humbly accept what they have, so when you don’t get what you are seeing repeatedly you are looking for a chance to grab it. Think of this , a beautiful girl with a nice rack looks great, or a guy handsome looks appauling, only someone decent enough with some chivalry would ask to get to know them but if someone doesn’t have those qualities the first thing that person would think is “Wish I could bang her” or ” I hope he notices me , I’m so gonna rock his world” but as time passes , desperation plays along, the sensitivity of the person increases , they just want to do it. Ergo Rape. Moreover I personally think parents should educate children on what sex is and this nudity trend going on India should decrease. Rape, stereotypes will always go on, one would try to oppose It someone would want to promote it, it all depends on the situation and on the person itself. When society will learn to respect one another, respect what it means to be human , respect and adhere to the rights of others, learn to live together, learn to self-sacrifice for others happiness or wellbeing … then these walls eould fall ….then there won’t be rape ,nor stereotypes.


    • Hi Shahroze, Firstly, thank you for your comment – Most of the things that you mention are things I agree with, whereas some I don’t – Firstly, I never said that not talking openly about this subject is the “main” reason for rape – I say in my article that it can be one of the reason – stemming from the fact that when you are misinformed and uneducated about certain aspects of phenomena such as sex and when something so existent has been made “forbidden” by society – it leads you to take misinformed steps. It is not just rape you know – When people with HIV are shunned from our society (again, because of misinformation that HIV spreads ONLY through sex), when young girls have to terminate unwanted pregnancies by visiting undercover and/or illegal set-ups that call themselves hospitals, only because going down such dangerous terrains is far more shameful than actually admitting to what is imminent – These are the reasons why we should not treat this as a taboo topic. The second thing that I disagree with is about the orgasm bit – I have done my research on this, and let’s not talk about urban India alone – My research also includes women under the poverty line, in rural India, where orgasm, is something women don’t even understand. Also, an orgasm has got absolutely nothing with the male in question (or his performance, as you mention) – Women are independent of that bit, thank god – Women are fully capable of orgasming on their own – However, the point here is, most women do not know what it is, because, for them, sex is not recreation, it is for reproduction – And that stems from not being educated about these things, which brings me to my point – Keeping this hush-hush. I agree with most of your latter points when you’re trying to establish motive for “rape”. Anyway, I hope this was something we had a healthy discussion on, I’m glad you stopped by, keep following for more subjects I feel close to and yes, I would love to know your opinion on the same, even if I disagree with some. Cheers!


    • Hi Sid,

      Thanks for pointing that out – If you notice, I have “weaker sex” within quotes and in this context I was trying to point out the very core of this subject – Breaking stereotypes, using sarcasm. It is an outdated english term, usually used in jest, but as a matter of fact, has a condescending humour to it, something that tries to reinforce that women are weak – By re-using this phrase, I was trying to do the exact opposite – Apologies, if it did not hit the mark. And, no, I ain’t sexist – quite the opposite really, if you get to know me. Cheers!


  3. That’s a strong topic! Well, I do agree it’s a topic always covered up, the urban youth has progressed beyond these boundaries. Sex education should be more open in the India society so we can prevent many cases of domestic violence and rapes, but also to educate our youth who try to follow a “trend”. Many times noticeable that we are imitating the west while the west is trying to adapt our culture.


  4. aaahhh…. A good rant but rapes occur in countries even with high amount of sexual education. Rape, more than related to actual sexual desire, is a dire need for the rapist to impose himself/herself on the victim. A power dynamic. A rapist in a relationship will try to dominate the consenting partner through sex, whether willing or not.


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